Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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