college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
