So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
