someone threw a dead crab at me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
