8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
