Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
