youre lurking in front of me
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
