You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
