I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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