so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
