spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
