Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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