White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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