You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We got so high we made milksteak
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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