me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
