He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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