Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
