did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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