whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
