you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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