Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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