It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let's get the cat blown out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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