i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
