Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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