Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
