thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
