I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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