I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
