____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
