im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
