I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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