just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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