the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just gift wrapped bread.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
