Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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