Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
