At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
