Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
