New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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