saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
