White coat. Heels.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
