he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
