is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
