saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
