I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
