he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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