"it" just moved
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
