If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
