dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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