i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
