Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
