she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
