He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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