haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
