ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
