I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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