He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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